This was something I was never particularly good at. I know this for a fact. I really disliked the feeling of being an imposition on people, burdening them with my problems when they already have a life with everything of their own to deal with.
It really was a conscious decision, a choice I had to make in part of my healing journey to start asking others for help. I am not talking about constantly having people do things for me but just asking when I truly needed that other opinion or help with something rather than just 'battling' through. When faced with a dilemma, a fork in the road it is invaluable to have some input from those close to you. It creates a balanced overview to have more than just your own thoughts and opinions on the situation. You cannot be expected to always have the answers, this is not reasonable, life is a journey about learning from our experiences. Success lies in being able to consciously choose.
I think it is important to realize as well that when you never ask for help in return of people that the relationship becomes unbalanced, thus with one person doing all the emotional work they start feeling 'depleted'. This is not how successful relationships on any level work over the long term as it creates negative emotions leaving you feeling lost and at times resentful. I know I needed to stop fighting so hard to prove I COULD do it ALL on my own, lose the agendas and the complex I had that long term illness had manifested in me and find a new path.
I believe that when I started opening up and talking more about what my needs were, asking for help, asking for opinions, that it strengthened the relationships around me. The honesty that comes with putting yourself out there, showing not just the side of you that is good, fantastic, amazing and perfect brings about a more committed and harmonious relationship with those around you. They develop a better understanding of who you are, you feel less misunderstood and hence there is this natural evolution of a gratifying love and friendship created.
If you are like I was, just let go. Take down the mask that shows people you are always great. Let people see the real you and give them the chance to be there for you as you no doubt want to be there for them. Experience AUTHENTIC relationships that evolve from here and note how taking that little bit of pressure off yourself to always be a certain way in front of others is refreshing. This is just another step in the healing journey of acceptance, gratitude and growth.
