I was surprised when I first started my journey by how much I had kept hidden away, not just from the world but from my own self. The fears, burdens, disappointments and judgement, and not even the judgement from other people but the way I judged myself with the choices that I had made and the resulting actions that had significantly impacted on my life prior to this. I was limited by my own beliefs in my personal self. I had to start somewhere to begin the healing process, so I started with what I remembered first. Now that may sound ridiculous but your subconscious mind has a protection mechanism that will automatically lock away what is too painful, too difficult for you to process for whatever reason. Perhaps you were young and your mind at that point was just not able to process what was going on, or perhaps the whole situation was so violent and confusing that even trying to comprehend what was happening was beyond you at that point. Whatever the reason, quite often we find that in reflection there is clarity, once you start to unlock little pieces of what has significantly impacted you, then you will find that other moments in your life may come forward and present themselves needing to be cleared and released.
Holding on to all of this; what does it do to us exactly? You may think that the mind is just thoughts but the mind is so super powerful. Negativity is like a dark cloak that will wrap itself around you and not let you escape. You will feel anxious, uncomfortable, unhappy and it manifests itself into panic attacks, pain and unreasonable mood swings just to touch the tip of the symptoms you may experience. Ultimately you are trapped, like a victim of your own mind that you are on a terrible merry-go-round ride with. Then you seek help from the medical professionals and tell me, how many of you out there have been told, like me, time after time after time that there is no reason for you to feel this pain, that symptom is phantom because it does not relate to anything, scans, procedures and investigations come back clear and yet you KNOW this is not normal to feel like you are but what is causing it? Negativity. It spirals you down into a reality that is unwelcome and unforgiving.
Once I realised this, or perhaps I should say that there was a part of me that did know this already but did not yet fully comprehend how to deal with it, so once I accepted that this was the bigger issue then I could start working towards a happier, more peaceful and capable version of myself. How did I do this? I identified what parts of my life needed attention, not all at once! That would be way to overwhelming, but bit by bit I incorporated positive changes into my daily life, expressions, positive affirmations, kindness to myself (as in, not being so critical of what I did or did not achieve on that day). I would reflect and recognise the feelings that were associated to certain areas of my life, consider these and then work on acceptance. Such a powerful word that. And you know for so many years I knew that acceptance was the key but HOW do you accept something you truly don't like or cannot come to appreciate about your situation? I believe the answer in that is timing. We have lessons to learn and we will be stuck in those unfavourable circumstances until we have learnt those lessons, only then will we find the grace to be able to accept and appreciate why that has happened. From here allow yourself to fully feel the emotions, experience them unashamedly before just letting it all go. If you close your eyes and with your inner eye you can imagine just exuding the black negativity from every cell of your body, everybreath as you allow the cleansing energies to enter your body and refill what you are releasing. Look back then at the issue, reassess it and consider it for a while, you will find there will be new insights, new perspectives that will again be beneficial to you understanding.
Always remember as I have, no gesture of this kind is a waste, no matter how small or how big you need to let it go, not forget, but let go of the negativity that eats at you from that so you to can be the best version of yourself possible ... no limits, start living TODAY!
